The one thing I know about babies is that they are feelers. They feel atmosphere, tension in the air, joy in the room and the complete range of emotions that are swirling around them. This is how they navigate the world before spoken language is within their grasp.
Having children and being conscious about what they are experiencing is great motivation to get your shit together. Spend the time to find out what makes you happy and allow your children to see you doing, saying and being joyful. Instead of worrying about how much time you spend arguing, crying, moping etc, focus on doing anything and everything that provokes real joy. This is different then the perceived – this is what “good families” do activities.
For example, we were strongly encouraged to sit down as a family and eat dinner together when I was a child. I actually hated it and got up from the table every night saying I had a stomach ache, the tension around the table made me feel stressed and eating on top of stress made me unhappy. When I had my own children I began by thinking and feeling we should sit down and eat together because that is what families do. When I forced this I ended up feeling the same way I did as a child. Instead we are casual in our dining, if we all sit together it is because we want to, as they get older this tends to happen more naturally and with ease. Sometimes people eat at different times or even in different rooms but no one has a stomach ache. Re-connect to what you really need and want, what makes you happy and what is right for your family. Your children will enjoy the benefits of this work.